To Live Until We Say Good-bye

This beautiful, large-sized book by Elizabeth Kübler-Ross, the world’s first leading expert on death and dying, tells the personal stories of several patients in an intimate way. The stories include the patients’ own words as well as Kübler-Ross’ explanations. There are also photographs of the actual patients at various stages in their dying. The photos are in no way maudlin, but instead, humanize the topic even more than the words. It helps to drive home one of the main messages of the book, which is that death is a normal part of life. The author chose the patient subjects to teach other lessons that are critical to understand if we are to bring death & dying back into the everyday societal conversation. For instance, one patient is determined again and again to be in charge of her own death, to decide what treatments she will and won’t take. This is back in the late 70’s when Hospice care had just started in the US. The patient experienced negative reactions from doctors and other medical professionals when she decided against any kind of treatment. Kübler-Ross tells this patient stories beautifully and describes what she did to support what each patient wanted to do. In portrait after portrait we get different views of individuals who took control for their lives, by taking charge of their deaths. And in that we see them truly living, in many cases, for the first time. We see in the photographs and the writing how Elizabeth Kübler-Ross dispenses with the usual medical professional’s cold demeanor and emotional distance. She openly loves her patients and gives them the emotional support they need. So many of the pictures are of the author hugging her patients. When was the last time you were hugged by a doctor? This book is for anyone who wants an intimate portrait of the dying, the choices they make, and the way that a leading expert and forward thinking psychiatrist supports the dying, whatever choices they make.