Wanderings

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Advice for Future Corpses (and Those Who Love Them): A Practical Perspective on Death and Dying

There is so much tiptoeing around the subject of death and everything related to it, that as a society, we are all largely unprepared to deal with it when it touches our lives or those whose we love. Sallie Tisdale aims to correct this by providing comprehensive coverage of the topic. She covers dying, to death, to after death disposition of the remains. In the first section we learn what Tisdale has learned about treatment of the dying as she experienced in her mother’s terminal illness and with the hundreds of patients that she served as a palliative medicine nurse for a decade of her career. Much of the advice is practical for the situation where the reader is the dying person or when they are caring for a dying person. She explains the way to respect the wishes and perspective of a dying person. She also talks about how to make what you, as the dying person, want known to those you choose for caregivers. Along with this are several real life stories about people grappling with a terminal illness as well as their loved one struggling to support them. In the second section, Tisdale describes the moment of death and those just before. She shows the reader what to expect as an observer and, in as much as it is possible, as the dying person. A lot of the stories and the meat of this section have to do with how to accept that every death will be different and every person has a different opinion of what a “good death” entails. She points out, ways for observers and those supporting the dying to participate without taking up the space that the dying must occupy. In a sense, she is saying that, as this is the dying person’s last party, they call the shots, even if those shots seem strange. In the third section, Tisdale describes just about everything to do with dead bodies. She covers the myths that permeate our society, most notably those that the hugely profitable funeral industry perpetuates. There is a modest section on non-western funeral rites (or at least body disposition). This book is populated with plenty of stories from the author’s career and personal life. It is frank in its approach to death and dying and is one of the most up front books I have read on the subject. Finally, Tisdale’s writing is a pleasure to read, as it is often lyrical with many poetic metaphors and historical facts brought to life with wonderful imagery.